Creating Lasting Change

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It’s that time of year again! The time where you may be looking around at your life or health or surroundings and thinking it’s time to make some changes. But did you know that a whopping 80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail?? If you’re finding your resolve flagging already in these first few days of the New Year, here are some big ideas to help you create lasting change and a FREE PDF to help you map your way forward!

Identify The Problem

This may seem obvious but it really isn’t in some ways depending on what it is you wish to change. If you spend a small amount of time really identifying what it is that you’re trying to solve, that clarity will make what comes next that much easier.

The Biggest of the Big Ideas - Start Small and Break It Down!

You may have heard this advice in the past, but there’s a lot of truth to it in my experience. Too often, when we see that big changes need to be made and we’re at the point of being sick and tired of whatever it is and totally fed up we may go a bit off the deep end and try to do something huge. Not that I’ve ever done that. ;-)

And then we end up failing and have an even bigger mess to deal with later. Or we just give up entirely. And then we really get nowhere.

So as you look at whatever the problem is, let’s take health for an example, you may see this huge problem and want to attack it from all angles at once. Let’s say your diet is terrible, you don’t exercise, and you work too much. If you try to change all of those things at once, it just isn’t going to work and you’re probably going to be back on the couch eating potato chips night after night (mmm…. potato chips… /ahem).

What’s one thing you can do to start in the right direction? Maybe it’s exercise. What if you started by parking farther away from the places you need to go, whether that’s the office, the grocery store or something else. By doing so, you would be moving your body more because you would have to walk farther to get where you need to be. That one small change might just start to make you strong enough to then start taking regular daily walks. Maybe they start out as 5 minutes around the office on your lunch break. They might get longer from there. You may find yourself suddenly outside for an hour before you know it! Maybe that leads to the next small change, and then the next…

Make a Plan

In order to make change you have to have a plan. That may seem time consuming but, “If you fail to plan you plan to fail” isn’t a thing we’ve heard a million times for no reason. Any successful endeavor starts with a plan, whether that’s a big project at your job, a home improvement or changing some aspect of your life. This is where old fashioned paper and pen(cil) can really come in handy. There’s just something about writing it all down and mapping it out in front of you.

Set a Timeline

This isn’t want you think. Instead of saying I have to do such and such by this date, set a date where you’re going to begin your first small change. Nothing can change if you don’t simply START. By writing down a date or putting it on your calendar you make a commitment to yourself to simply begin. Give that some time, then move on to the next and the next…

Finally and Most Importantly - Take Time to Reflect and Take In the Good!

After some time, maybe a month, maybe several, take the time to reflect on the changes you’ve implemented. They might not all be winners, but have they moved you in the right direction. Be honest, but also remember the negativity bias of your brain and take in the good! Take the time to celebrate what DID work for you and what HAS changed. As those small accomplishments add up you’ll be more motivated to keep going. And that’s where the real magic lies.

To help you with this process I’ve thrown together a simple little PDF that might help you map out your plan on paper. You can find that here. I hope it helps you! Let me know if it does!

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Just begin again

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Why is it that when we become adults and the older we get, we seem to think that we can’t start over or start something new? It’s as if we think when we get to {insert the milestone of your choice here} that we’re done! Cooked! Finito!

How ridiculous!

What we don’t realize is that there are new beginnings every day. When we start to recognize those new beginnings, we can start to see that the power to just begin lies within and that power is so very important in all aspects of our lives.

One of my favorite meditation teachers, Sharon Salzberg, shares great wisdom in the quote below that I shared in class and in your newsletter recently:

The critical element in meditation practice is beginning again. Everyone loses focus at times, everyone loses interest at times, and everyone gets distracted over and over again. What is essential, and also incredibly transforming, is realizing that we have the ability to begin again, without blaming or judging ourselves, without thinking we have failed, without losing heart, we can, and need to, constantly be beginning again.

Sharon Salzberg

This is so key in meditation, in yoga practice and in life. If you’ve ever started a meditation practice and thought you “failed” because you couldn’t get your mind to be quiet or empty, you’ve just discovered the importance of beginning again. (Stay tuned for more about this idea in a future workshop.) You also probably did a fair amount of beating yourself up in the process. I know I have!

“I suck at this.”

“I’m a freaking yoga teacher and I still can’t do this.”

“Why do I even bother.”

“Look at everyone else! They look so peaceful! Why is this so hard for me?!”

Sharon really changed my relationship with meditation the first time I took a workshop with her by bringing the wisdom of the quote above to my attention. Not only could I just start over, I could understand that I wasn’t alone in needing to do so. After over 40 years of meditation practice she does it too! That gave me great hope and a great deal more understanding.

That’s all well and good, but what does this have to do with your life you might ask.

When’s the last time you started trying to do something and gave up because you “failed”, or got busy with the daily requirements of your life or because your family needed you or {insert whatever it was here}?

  • A new eating habit

  • A new exercise program

  • A new business

  • A new educational pursuit

  • Finding a new job

  • A new way of being in an important relationship

  • A new self care habit

  • Etcetera …

We all do these things. But our practice of yoga and meditation can show us that we do have that ability to start over. We do it every time we get on our yoga mat. Every time you step on your mat is a new beginning. The body is different. The mind is different. The experiences of your life, no matter how small, have changed you. You really have no idea what you might find on your mat today. But you step on and you practice and you start again, and again and again.

Each breath is a new beginning. With great faith we take an inhale in and trust that it will nourish us. We let go of the exhalation with great trust that the next inhale will be waiting. Beginning again happens with every breath we take.

So we can start over. We can begin again. We do it multiple times each day.

What we might need even more practice with is the being kind to ourselves part. The not loosing heart part. The not judging or blaming ourselves part. And so we can get on our mat or our meditation cushion and practice that too. Notice when it happens. Know it happens to all of us. Then just let it go and start over. It’s just another thought.

Just begin again.