Creating Abundance Through Simplicity

One of the many lessons of the last several months has been how meaningful simplicity can be. Many of us have found ourselves doing without things that we thought we needed, shifting our daily living patterns and bringing a greater focus to what is truly important and meaningful in our lives. As we make our way into the season that celebrates abundance, I find myself reflecting on how my experiments with simplicity at the beginning of the year created the space for dramatic shifts, eliminated unnecessary decision fatigue and allowed me to bring greater quality of attention into my life. If you’re curious about how 33 items of clothing could do all that & create a sense of abundance, read on!

In January of this year, I did something called "The 30 Day Minimalism Game" with some friends on Facebook. The idea comes from The Minimalists and goes like this: starting at the beginning of the month you remove one thing from your home on the first day, two things on the second day, three on the third and so on until the end of the month. As you can imagine, it starts out being pretty easy but when you start getting into 20 and more items per day, things get interesting. For myself, I found once the momentum began, and with the support of an accountability group, I ended up letting go of WAY more stuff than was called for. My husband even started to get involved!

I had no idea how important this little exercise would become just a few months later when I found myself suddenly running my entire business out of my home. Not only did I have the space I needed to teach my yoga classes, I didn’t have to move a bunch of stuff and figure out where I was going to put it to make it happen. A few months after that, when I found myself moving what remained of the physical items from my physical studio into my home, there was far less panic than there might have been otherwise. Who knew in January that I was creating space for such an important shift in my life and business?

After the inspiration of January’s accomplishments, I decided to take it a step further when I found out about Project333. I’ve never been much of a fashionista. I’ve often made the comment that I wished I could go back to the days when someone else dressed me. It seems such a silly thing to be stressed about, but deciding what the heck to wear every day was never my favorite thing because it always seemed to take far too much thought and consternation. And then I found this new possibility of simplicity.

Choose only 33 items to wear for three months including shoes and accessories.

Whoa.

(If you just fell out of your chair you’ll be happy to know the creator of the idea often jokes that she looses most people when she gets to the shoes part! 😂 Also, please note that there are certain things that don’t count including underwear, bras, socks, loungewear and workout clothes [as long as you actually work out in them] if you were worried).

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we have four dramatically different seasons here in New Hampshire.

Apparently so did the creator of the project, sighting that she had one day where the temperature swung from 90-30 degrees in her home state of Utah the first time she tried this herself.

“Ok. If she can do it, I can do it.”

Knowing that I was heading to California during that month I figured it would be a pretty good test.

So I went for it. I didn’t throw away everything I owned, but I did a thorough once over of all my clothing, and donated what no longer fit, got rid of what was worn beyond repair and what I simply didn’t want anymore. In the process I cleaned out a couple of drawers in my dresser and decided on what I would wear for the next three months.

Spoiler alert: I didn’t get down to 33 items. But I was around 40 or so. I figured that was pretty good for my first attempt, especially given the fact that I’d be going from freezing NH to a sweaty hot studio in CA and back in between. (I also traveled carryon only for a 2 week trip but that’s a story for another day.)

It took a fair amount of time to get started. I had to be really intentional with everything I chose.

Once the choices were made I noticed immediately how much easier it was to get dressed in the morning. I had spent a little more time on the “front end” of that decision making process and it immediately alleviated my decision fatigue when it came to clothing. That little bit of my morning was no longer a chore and didn’t set a negative tone in my day. My attention shifted to far more important things. Again, as I reflect back on this, I find myself so grateful for creating that mental space for a future that would involve a LOT of decision making in a short period of time.

After the initial work, I fell into an easy routine. And not a single person said anything to me about my clothing choices during those first three months. Not one. When my three months were up I actually forgot that I had to reconsider my choices until the weather started getting warm enough that I needed some different choices. So I decided to do another round. You can probably see where this is going.

I just did my revision for the third time and I intend to keep going with this approach to my personal wardrobe indefinitely.

So what the heck does getting rid of stuff and simplifying have to do with abundance?

When I took the time to be really intentional and considered about what I surrounded myself with and what I put on my body I learned so much about myself and what was really necessary.

I learned

• that I really didn’t need as much as I thought I did. A lesson that seems to keep coming around for me.

• that a clear plan and intentionality can save you so much energy in the long term. And that energy can be used to focus on so many other important things.

• that simplifying can actually create the space for change. It isn’t always the change that we would have wanted or the change we’d planned, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.

• that quality over quantity isn’t just a catchy phrase. Abundance doesn’t have to equal excess. In fact, over abundance can actually be draining. That’s something we tend to think of when we have an over abundance of business meetings or tasks to do, I don’t think it’s something most of us think about when it comes to the physical objects we surround ourselves with each and every day. Or the physical objects we put on our bodies each day.

• that just in the same way that the things get accumulated, the letting go of them is also a process. I’m still not down to only 33 items. I might never be. But the process of making the choices and considering fully what I spend money on and what I bring into my life is so very valuable in not only my possessions, but in all other aspects of my life.

• that I can actually feel more abundant when I own less.

• And so many more things I can’t quite put into words.

Would you ever consider doing something like the Minimalism Game or Project333? Leave me a comment and let me know!

I’m going to be talking more about TRUE abundance in my classes this month. Join me for a weekly class or sign up for my Thanksgiving Gratitude Flow.

You’ll find all the details here.

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What happened when I did 40 days of Lovingkindness Meditation for The Difficult Person

A dear friend came to me on January 1st and said, “I want to do a 40 day lovingkindness practice. Will you do it with me?” You’d think that would be something I’d jump at, but you’d be wrong. I knew I should, but I can best describe my ethos going into the first practice as “kicking and screaming”. Almost literally. And yet somehow I just completed 40 days of the practice!

The most interesting part to me was the part where I offered the phrases to The Difficult Person. I’ll let you know who that was in a moment.

If you aren’t familiar with this practice it’s a pretty interesting one. Similar to mantra, some phrases are repeated in this practice but they are offered to a progressive series of beings, starting with oneself. I usually go with the following phrases:

May I be happy.

May I be healthy.

May I be safe.

May I be free from fear and worry.

May I live with ease.

(Replacing “I” for “you” when offering to another person.)

For my 40 day practice, I decided to eliminate the 4th phrase and to only offer to the following beings: myself, someone I love, The Difficult Person and all beings everywhere. I was only doing 9 minutes per practice so I needed to condense things. 

On my first day of practice, with my friend sitting next to me, I was fascinated at how much things changed as I offered these phrases to the different people, especially The Difficult Person. (Side note - some traditions even call this person “the enemy”. I don’t necessarily subscribe to that notion, but it’s nice to know even monks understand that relationships with others are not always easy!) When I got to The Difficult Person, I felt my whole body tighten up as if to say “I don’t WANT to offer happiness to this person!! Look at what they’ve done!!” I especially noticed my lips tighten as if trying to form the snarl that I felt inside.

This sensation persisted for the next several days. But I quickly found myself thinking, “If this person was truly happy, healthy and safe, maybe they wouldn’t be so awful! Maybe we need everyone to do this practice for them!”

With those thoughts, my body began to soften. I still wasn’t entirely happy about doing the offering and I certainly didn’t notice the same heart connection I did as my practice progressed with the person I chose as the person I loved, but there was an ease coming in.

Then The Difficult Person did something, yet again, that I didn’t agree with and that endangered hundreds if not millions of people and animals. 

The physical sensation of tightness in my body returned, apparently reflecting the tightening in my mind and heart. 

But it was different. Noticeably so. It was maybe 50% as tight as it was when I began the practice. 

Not long after this I found this passage about the Difficult Person in Sharon Salzberg’s book Lovingkindness:

“In the same way that cultivating lovingkindness toward a benefactor is easy, feeling kindness toward an adversary can be just as difficult. In order to begin to develop Metta toward a person with whom we have problems, we must first separate our vision of the person from the actions they commit that may upset or harm us. All beings are deserving of care, well-being, of the gift of lovingkindness. In developing Metta, we put aside the unpleasant traits of such a being and try instead to get in touch with the part of them that deserves to be loved.”

As I’ve been talking about in classes recently, the great ones from all the world’s great traditions tell us that we are Love, we came from Love and we will return to Love. All of us. That can be hard to fathom when we find ourselves face to face with the actions of a person that we’ve labeled as anything but Love. That’s true whether they are living in our home or we see them on television on a regular basis. But as Sharon says above, instead of separating them from us, we have to be willing to separate the actions from the truth inside and recognize that we are the same. And in some situations, that’s no easy task.

As I finished my 40 days of practice I started to notice outside of my practice that my reactions to The Difficult Person had softened when I heard about him or what he had done on Facebook or TV. I still don’t agree with him, I still wouldn’t have lunch with him, and I still wouldn’t vote for him, but I think I’ve begun, just the tiniest bit, to separate the actions from the being inside. 

I know this isn’t going to change anything for The Difficult Person, but it has changed something for me. They say anger is like holding a hot coal and expecting the other person to feel pain. I’ve managed to give myself the gift of a little less anger through this 40 day practice. That seems like a pretty powerful gift to me.

Oh. And if you haven’t already figured it out, My Difficult Person is the current president of the United States.

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Creating Lasting Change

It’s that time of year again! The time where you may be looking around at your life or health or surroundings and thinking it’s time to make some changes. But did you know that a whopping 80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail?? If you’re finding your resolve flagging already in these first few days of the New Year, here are some big ideas to help you create lasting change and a FREE PDF to help you map your way forward!

Identify The Problem

This may seem obvious but it really isn’t in some ways depending on what it is you wish to change. If you spend a small amount of time really identifying what it is that you’re trying to solve, that clarity will make what comes next that much easier.

The Biggest of the Big Ideas - Start Small and Break It Down!

You may have heard this advice in the past, but there’s a lot of truth to it in my experience. Too often, when we see that big changes need to be made and we’re at the point of being sick and tired of whatever it is and totally fed up we may go a bit off the deep end and try to do something huge. Not that I’ve ever done that. ;-)

And then we end up failing and have an even bigger mess to deal with later. Or we just give up entirely. And then we really get nowhere.

So as you look at whatever the problem is, let’s take health for an example, you may see this huge problem and want to attack it from all angles at once. Let’s say your diet is terrible, you don’t exercise, and you work too much. If you try to change all of those things at once, it just isn’t going to work and you’re probably going to be back on the couch eating potato chips night after night (mmm…. potato chips… /ahem).

What’s one thing you can do to start in the right direction? Maybe it’s exercise. What if you started by parking farther away from the places you need to go, whether that’s the office, the grocery store or something else. By doing so, you would be moving your body more because you would have to walk farther to get where you need to be. That one small change might just start to make you strong enough to then start taking regular daily walks. Maybe they start out as 5 minutes around the office on your lunch break. They might get longer from there. You may find yourself suddenly outside for an hour before you know it! Maybe that leads to the next small change, and then the next…

Make a Plan

In order to make change you have to have a plan. That may seem time consuming but, “If you fail to plan you plan to fail” isn’t a thing we’ve heard a million times for no reason. Any successful endeavor starts with a plan, whether that’s a big project at your job, a home improvement or changing some aspect of your life. This is where old fashioned paper and pen(cil) can really come in handy. There’s just something about writing it all down and mapping it out in front of you.

Set a Timeline

This isn’t want you think. Instead of saying I have to do such and such by this date, set a date where you’re going to begin your first small change. Nothing can change if you don’t simply START. By writing down a date or putting it on your calendar you make a commitment to yourself to simply begin. Give that some time, then move on to the next and the next…

Finally and Most Importantly - Take Time to Reflect and Take In the Good!

After some time, maybe a month, maybe several, take the time to reflect on the changes you’ve implemented. They might not all be winners, but have they moved you in the right direction. Be honest, but also remember the negativity bias of your brain and take in the good! Take the time to celebrate what DID work for you and what HAS changed. As those small accomplishments add up you’ll be more motivated to keep going. And that’s where the real magic lies.

To help you with this process I’ve thrown together a simple little PDF that might help you map out your plan on paper. You can find that here. I hope it helps you! Let me know if it does!

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Press Pause

Routines are good. They keep us steady in our day to day lives. They ensure our clothes are clean, our bodies are clean, we’re fed regularly, the people we’re responsible for caring for are cared for and we get enough sleep. But every now and then, breaking with routine and doing something different can have a profound effect on how we see our routines and might help us do something better or different in an important way. And now just might be the perfect time.

When’s the last time you got out of your routine? Have you even thought about how may routines you have in your life?! Some examples might be:

• The way you drive to work every day

• Your daily hygiene

• Your exercise program

• Your food regimen

• The type of meditation practice you do

• How you relate to the important people in your life

• What you do when you first wake up in the morning

Any of these could be a good thing to have in your life. Routines often keep us grounded. They can help steady us through the inevitable ups and downs of life. They can help us maintain our health and sanity. 

But what if there’s something you want to change? What if there’s a pattern in your life that just doesn’t seem to be serving you? Or is actually doing you or your relationships harm?

That’s where a shake up might come in handy. Maybe it’s time to press the pause button on that routine and step outside the day to day so you can see the world (and yourself) differently.

Maybe you’ve been on a weight-loss journey and you’ve been at a plateau for a time. You had been steadily making progress but you seem to have stalled. This can be SO frustrating. But what if you changed up your exercise routine a bit? What if you got outside and did some hiking instead of your usual weightlifting routine? Or went for a swim instead of running on a treadmill? You might find that you A) find another form of exercise you really like and B) jumpstart your weight-loss by changing how you use your body. 

Maybe this has nothing to do with loosing weight but with your exercise regiment itself. Changing up your activities might help you build strength and flexibility or cardiovascular fitness in a way that wasn’t happening with your other routine. You might even find a different activity becomes a great compliment to your usual forms of movement (hiking and yoga anyone?! ;-) ).

What if you wanted to change your relationship with someone close to you. Often our reactions to the people around us can fall into routines too. These can be some of the hardest to break because they are SO ingrained in us and are often so tied to our emotions. We might (if we’re lucky) even have the awareness to see it happening in the moment, but feel completely unable to change the response because we are so caught in the reactivity of the moment. 

Maybe it’s time for a vacation. Believe me, I don’t say those words lightly. I know full well how difficult this can be for reasons that can range from financial investment to work responsibilities or lack of paid vacation to the simple coordination with the rest of the family and all THEIR similar situations. However, you really can’t put a price tag on the time to reconnect with the people you love.

But we’re just talking about breaking out of your routine here. So maybe it’s just an overnight camping trip to that campground down the road (NH State parks have an amazing array of close and far away sites for as little as $23.00/night depending on the type of amenities you require) or an AirBnB a short drive away (some of the most interesting and memorable “vacations” I’ve had have been right here in NH in someone else’s backyard!). Maybe you just take the day off and go to the beach and turn off your cell phone for the day.

Maybe you do one of these things all by yourself. You might be surprised how liberating that can be and how much it may make you realize you value the people closest to you. 

These are just a few ideas to help you shake things up a bit in your life. Which one will you try?!

Aparigraha and Technology

One of my recent favorite podcasts is a show called Wild Ideas Worth Living. The show has evolved over time but the interviews with people who are living outside of the box that most of us might think of, are so inspiring to me. On a recent episode the topic of discussion was about unplugging from our internet crazed world to be full present for our lives. It made me think about our class theme this month, Aparigraha.

Do you find yourself spending a lot of time on social media and other online tools? Do you find yourself not doing the things you really love because of all that time you spend with technology? It’s happening more and more to so many of us. We know what we need to do to be healthy and even happy, but the possibility of that next “like” coming in to give us that little lift seems ever so much more important. 

There’s science that even backs this up. Each time we get a response to our social media postings we get a little bit of a hit of the feel good chemicals that our brain naturally makes. And while that’s a nice thing, we can get those some good vibe chemicals from much more healthy pursuits such as walking, interacting with people in person and, dare I say it, yoga! 

Don’t get me wrong, It’s not a big deal if you use social media. I certainly do all the time. I have many friends in far flung places and it makes staying in touch with them a lot easier. But when these tools of connection keep us from connecting (when’s the last time you saw two people out to dinner together, not talking to each other at all, just looking at their phones? For me it was just the other day. ;-/) to each other or more importantly, to the things that truly make us healthier and happier, we have a problem.

Aparigraha asks us to find ways to start to loosen our grip on things that impede flow. If we’re constantly grasping at that next like or that next post, we loose a lot of what’s meant to come to us because we can’t even see it (around our phone or computer screen even). So how do we break the cycle? Here are a couple of ideas:

1. Don’t have your phone in your bedroom or at least don’t reach for it as soon as you wake up. - This can be tough, especially if you have people in your life that may need to get a hold of you at any hour for whatever reason. But if you can at least not start your day by checking your email or social media accounts first, you set yourself up for success for the day.

2. Turn off your notifications. - Another one that may be really hard for some of us. But, if you turn off your notifications just for certain things like Instagram or Facebook or maybe even your email you are given yourself a CHOICE. YOU get to choose when you check in on these things. Having a choice and not being ruled by that infernal *ding* is a big way to take back control of your time. I did this with email years ago and it had the single biggest effect on my time and attention of anything I had done to that point to control my technology time.

3. Make a no technology rule with friends/family for a certain time of day. - You’ll have to negotiate this one in advance but talk to your friends and family about this. Maybe you have a party and everyone puts their phone in a basket (this is mentioned in the podcast), maybe you decide that for the hour after you and your spouse arrive home you both don’t use your phones. Again, prior negotiation is key here (you don’t want to spring this one on the equally tech attached in your life) but if you can come together to create boundaries around your technology you’ll actually get to be with each other in a more meaningful way.

I hope this helps you find a way to start being more mindful about the technology in your life. Do you have other strategies you use? Leave a comment and share them with others! I think we can all use some ideas around this topic these days.

The definition of insanity...

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result. As far as I can tell, by that measure that means most of us are bat sh*t crazy! LOL! In all seriousness, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Many of us have things we’d like to change in our lives. I know I do! But how many of us actually take positive steps forward to create those changes without getting overwhelmed by the seeming enormity of the task or just don’t even bother getting started in the first place?

If we want to loose weight we suddenly think we’re going to start on a specific date and completely change our diet or start an entirely new exercise program. And then by the second week or so we’re off the wagon and wondering where the days have gone. We end up feeling like change is impossible and give up.

If we want to change something in a relationship we sit down and have that Come to Jesus talk with the other person, lay out everything that’s wrong, agree to change and then realize a week or two later that we’ve fallen back into the same habits with that person again. We feel like change is impossible and give up, only to be unhappy and perhaps have another emotional explosion come again in the future.

If we just don’t feel great maybe we decide to start a meditation practice because we heard that would be good for us. So we sit down and try to do 20 minutes the first time out, end up looking at the timer approximately 3 billion times in the first 5 minutes and then think we just can’t do meditation and give up on ourselves.

Any of this sound familiar?

Yeah. Me too. But if the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result, but then we try and make some change and it “doesn’t work”, what is there to do?

We live in world where we’ve been conditioned to think we can just “fix it” right now. We can take a pill and everything will be all better. We want instant results. We want instant change.

But when was the last time that actually happened? Even if you have something you need to take an antibiotic for, it takes several days for that antibiotic to work! You aren’t cured instantly.

When you take that antibiotic you are doing one small thing, very consistently for a short period of time and then you measure the results. Maybe you take that pill once or twice a day. That probably takes you about 30 seconds. You do that for five days and then you measure the results. If all is well, great! If not, you go back to the doctor.

What if we applied this idea to the big changes we want to make in our lives? What if instead of changing our whole diet we picked something small like eating an extra serving of vegetables at dinner each night for a week and then noticed the change that created? What if instead of trying to change our whole relationship overnight we just chose to speak to them kindly when they forgot to take the trash out again instead of yelling about it and then ask that person how they felt at the end of the week? What if instead of trying to do 20 minutes of meditation every day we started with 1 minute 4 days this week and then wrote down how we felt after each session to see if there was improvement?

It takes time to see change. We can start without doing everything at once. And if we check in with ourselves consistently, we can see that these small acts start to pile up. It takes patience.

This month I want to encourage you to make a small change that will help you see that small changes can add up. I’m bringing back our annual gratitude challenge but in a shorter easier to manage format.

Starting today - grab a journal or a notebook and write down three things you’re grateful for each day. Do so every day through November 26th (that’s 21 days, which some studies show is what it takes to start a new habit). Show it to me by December 1st and you’ll get a little prize (you can leave it at the studio with your teacher if you won’t be able to see me during that time). This may seem like a small practice, but it can really make a big change in the way you see the world.

I look forward to hearing about what you’re grateful for in the coming weeks!

Working on overwhelm...

I had a student tell me the other day that what I have to share in class is often exactly what she seems to need to hear in the moment. As a teacher and student of yoga I have often had this same experience with my teachers. It's amazing what the universe can provide sometimes. 

But here's a little secret... 

What I talk about in classes is often what I need to hear for myself in a given moment. 

Inspiration comes from life and yoga is not separate from that after all. As I often say (and heard from my teachers), our mat is a laboratory for our lives. What happens there is not different or separate from what happens "out there". 

What I see in myself and others right now is overwhelm. You're done. You're spent. You've got not a whole lot left in the tank. You've given all you can and there's just not much left to give at home, at work, with your friends or family, or even to yourself.

And then you turn on the evening news and there's far more to be overwhelmed by. Some of it is very disturbing.    

Our modern lives are filled with TOO MUCH. TOO MUCH - Food, sugar, appointments, media, clutter, bills, stress, relationship woes, fear, sickness, responsibilities ... I could go on. It's one hell of a downward spiral. 

How to break that cycle of overwhelm then? How to dig out of a hole that seems so steep we can barely see the light at the end of the tunnel?

One small shift. You don't need to add to your TO DO list. You don't need to sign up for some big program or throw away everything in your refrigerator or your garage and start over. You just need to make One Small Shift. If you can do that you start the trend upward. You start to put one foot in front of the other and even if the steps are tiny, you are moving FORWARD instead of backward.

My shift this week was reaching out to have a long talk with a dear teacher and being reminded of an old friend. Gratitude. 

It's something that's been bouncing around in my thoughts since Iris shared the quote above with her class earlier this month, but I had pushed it to the side instead of really sitting with it because of all the TOO MUCH in my own life. That last line really hit me. "Remember what you have now was once among the things you only hoped for." Remember when you wanted that house? Or that job? Or that relationship? How did you feel then?

So now my little notebook is next to my bed and each night I'm writing down one thing I'm grateful for in relation to something in my life I'm finding overwhelming right now. It's a small thing. But I'm already noticing the difference.

Maybe gratitude isn't your thing. Maybe it's starting your day with three deep breaths instead of reading your email. Maybe it's making one snack in your day a little healthier. Maybe it's locking yourself in a bathroom stall for five minutes at work so no one can talk to you. Maybe it's answering the phone on the second or third ring instead of the first when that difficult relative calls you for the fifth time today.

Find one small thing. Take one small step.

We've got this. It can get better.

We're Moving!

We are very excited to announce that we will be moving to a beautiful new home on or around December 1st! Our new location will be at 19 Nashua Street in Milford, conveniently located right off the oval and just 4.8 miles from our current location.

The new space is going to be amazing! We’ll have a real lobby for you to place your belongings in, check in for classes, check out our boutique items and maybe even get a bit of tea after class.

The new practice spaces will be outfitted with EVEN wood floors, beautiful decor and the comfort of central air and natural gas heating. Notice we said SPACES! There will be one large room (nearly 800 square feet compared to the current 380) for classes and then a smaller room for small groups and private sessions.

You’ll have access to a large and fully equipped bathroom as well!

We think this is going to be an amazing change for our community and will give you a space to practice in that is so much more worthy of YOU!

Here’s a map of where the new space is located (X marks the spot!) with a few highlights of where to find parking close by.

new-location-street-view-with-parking

Here’s another view that shows parking as well as more of the surrounding businesses to give you a better idea of what we’ll be near.

satalite-view-of-parking-for-new-location

Construction is still being completed at the moment, so stay tuned for more details as they become available on exact moving dates and how classes will be effected.

We can’t wait to practice in the new space with you!