Creating Lasting Change

It’s that time of year again! The time where you may be looking around at your life or health or surroundings and thinking it’s time to make some changes. But did you know that a whopping 80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail?? If you’re finding your resolve flagging already in these first few days of the New Year, here are some big ideas to help you create lasting change and a FREE PDF to help you map your way forward!

Identify The Problem

This may seem obvious but it really isn’t in some ways depending on what it is you wish to change. If you spend a small amount of time really identifying what it is that you’re trying to solve, that clarity will make what comes next that much easier.

The Biggest of the Big Ideas - Start Small and Break It Down!

You may have heard this advice in the past, but there’s a lot of truth to it in my experience. Too often, when we see that big changes need to be made and we’re at the point of being sick and tired of whatever it is and totally fed up we may go a bit off the deep end and try to do something huge. Not that I’ve ever done that. ;-)

And then we end up failing and have an even bigger mess to deal with later. Or we just give up entirely. And then we really get nowhere.

So as you look at whatever the problem is, let’s take health for an example, you may see this huge problem and want to attack it from all angles at once. Let’s say your diet is terrible, you don’t exercise, and you work too much. If you try to change all of those things at once, it just isn’t going to work and you’re probably going to be back on the couch eating potato chips night after night (mmm…. potato chips… /ahem).

What’s one thing you can do to start in the right direction? Maybe it’s exercise. What if you started by parking farther away from the places you need to go, whether that’s the office, the grocery store or something else. By doing so, you would be moving your body more because you would have to walk farther to get where you need to be. That one small change might just start to make you strong enough to then start taking regular daily walks. Maybe they start out as 5 minutes around the office on your lunch break. They might get longer from there. You may find yourself suddenly outside for an hour before you know it! Maybe that leads to the next small change, and then the next…

Make a Plan

In order to make change you have to have a plan. That may seem time consuming but, “If you fail to plan you plan to fail” isn’t a thing we’ve heard a million times for no reason. Any successful endeavor starts with a plan, whether that’s a big project at your job, a home improvement or changing some aspect of your life. This is where old fashioned paper and pen(cil) can really come in handy. There’s just something about writing it all down and mapping it out in front of you.

Set a Timeline

This isn’t want you think. Instead of saying I have to do such and such by this date, set a date where you’re going to begin your first small change. Nothing can change if you don’t simply START. By writing down a date or putting it on your calendar you make a commitment to yourself to simply begin. Give that some time, then move on to the next and the next…

Finally and Most Importantly - Take Time to Reflect and Take In the Good!

After some time, maybe a month, maybe several, take the time to reflect on the changes you’ve implemented. They might not all be winners, but have they moved you in the right direction. Be honest, but also remember the negativity bias of your brain and take in the good! Take the time to celebrate what DID work for you and what HAS changed. As those small accomplishments add up you’ll be more motivated to keep going. And that’s where the real magic lies.

To help you with this process I’ve thrown together a simple little PDF that might help you map out your plan on paper. You can find that here. I hope it helps you! Let me know if it does!

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The definition of insanity...

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result. As far as I can tell, by that measure that means most of us are bat sh*t crazy! LOL! In all seriousness, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Many of us have things we’d like to change in our lives. I know I do! But how many of us actually take positive steps forward to create those changes without getting overwhelmed by the seeming enormity of the task or just don’t even bother getting started in the first place?

If we want to loose weight we suddenly think we’re going to start on a specific date and completely change our diet or start an entirely new exercise program. And then by the second week or so we’re off the wagon and wondering where the days have gone. We end up feeling like change is impossible and give up.

If we want to change something in a relationship we sit down and have that Come to Jesus talk with the other person, lay out everything that’s wrong, agree to change and then realize a week or two later that we’ve fallen back into the same habits with that person again. We feel like change is impossible and give up, only to be unhappy and perhaps have another emotional explosion come again in the future.

If we just don’t feel great maybe we decide to start a meditation practice because we heard that would be good for us. So we sit down and try to do 20 minutes the first time out, end up looking at the timer approximately 3 billion times in the first 5 minutes and then think we just can’t do meditation and give up on ourselves.

Any of this sound familiar?

Yeah. Me too. But if the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result, but then we try and make some change and it “doesn’t work”, what is there to do?

We live in world where we’ve been conditioned to think we can just “fix it” right now. We can take a pill and everything will be all better. We want instant results. We want instant change.

But when was the last time that actually happened? Even if you have something you need to take an antibiotic for, it takes several days for that antibiotic to work! You aren’t cured instantly.

When you take that antibiotic you are doing one small thing, very consistently for a short period of time and then you measure the results. Maybe you take that pill once or twice a day. That probably takes you about 30 seconds. You do that for five days and then you measure the results. If all is well, great! If not, you go back to the doctor.

What if we applied this idea to the big changes we want to make in our lives? What if instead of changing our whole diet we picked something small like eating an extra serving of vegetables at dinner each night for a week and then noticed the change that created? What if instead of trying to change our whole relationship overnight we just chose to speak to them kindly when they forgot to take the trash out again instead of yelling about it and then ask that person how they felt at the end of the week? What if instead of trying to do 20 minutes of meditation every day we started with 1 minute 4 days this week and then wrote down how we felt after each session to see if there was improvement?

It takes time to see change. We can start without doing everything at once. And if we check in with ourselves consistently, we can see that these small acts start to pile up. It takes patience.

This month I want to encourage you to make a small change that will help you see that small changes can add up. I’m bringing back our annual gratitude challenge but in a shorter easier to manage format.

Starting today - grab a journal or a notebook and write down three things you’re grateful for each day. Do so every day through November 26th (that’s 21 days, which some studies show is what it takes to start a new habit). Show it to me by December 1st and you’ll get a little prize (you can leave it at the studio with your teacher if you won’t be able to see me during that time). This may seem like a small practice, but it can really make a big change in the way you see the world.

I look forward to hearing about what you’re grateful for in the coming weeks!

Ram Dass Retreat!

I started announcing this last week, but tomorrow I’m flying to Maui to check something off my bucket list (yes I’m only 39 but I don’t think it’s ever too early to have a bucket list!). I’m going to spend some time in the same room as Ram Dass. 

Ram Dass

If you’ve never heard that name you’re not alone. But Ram Dass was instrumental in bringing yogic thought and philosophy to the West. His 1960s book “Be Here Now” is considered one of the first major texts to bring yogic philosophy and thought to the west. I read his book after finishing my first teacher training and it was certainly life changing.

I’ve listened to talks of his for years. I’ve read several of his other books (one I like quite a bit is the “Journey of Awakening” which is available for purchase in our boutique at the studio). I’ve read posts on his website. I’ve watched movies. There’s something about his energy that I find captivating. The way his mind works with information. The way he makes things clear while still being down to earth. His honesty. And his generosity of spirt in making it possible for us to know his guru, Neem Karoli Baba. It was through him, to some degree, that I was introduced to the Kirtan and teaching of Krishna Das. His path has opened up a path for me in a way I am so grateful for.

There’s so much in his teaching that I hope to embody. The clarity, the honesty, the generosity, the “smartness” if you will! To be able to spend some time in the same room with him is a blessing I can’t even begin to imagine at the moment. I still can’t believe this is really happening!

And I have you to thank. My trip wouldn’t be possible without our community of practitioners. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope to bring back some juicy stuff for you!

They are live streaming some of the workshops this weekend. If you’d like to follow along, check out this link:

https://www.ramdass.org/trust

I think it’s going to be an amazing set of workshops and teachings.

I'll try and post some things here and on Instagram when I can.

I’ll see you tonight for class. Much love to you all!

Something shifted...

During my home practice today I decided to give legs up the wall (viparta karani) a try. I almost always can't stand this pose! But today something has shifted. It was easy, even comfortable! It was an amazing feeling that wouldn't have come if I had avoided a place I typically find challenging. It reminded me that if we stay present sometimes even the uncomfortable places may become comfortable. What pose do you usually avoid? What pose has shifted for you and your practice lately? #yoga #practice #legsupwall #viparitakarani #bepresent via

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Five Minute Yoga Break - Live on the floor!

Chairs. They are something we don't even think about in this country. They're everywhere! We use them all the time without a second thought. But have you ever considered what they're doing to your body? I often ask people that come into the studio what they do for a living because it instantly gives me great insight as to why they might find certain things challenging. More and more, everyone's work involves sitting in a chair for long hours using a computer. The more we sit in chairs, the more our hips tighten up, our low backs get compromised and our core strength heads right out the window!

I know this first hand. I used to work in NYC at a job where I was at a desk working at a computer 7 or more hours a day. I did that for over five years. Add to that a long commute and I was definitely not feeling my best in those days!

So if you can't quit that day job just yet, what's the solution?

LIVE ON THE FLOOR!

In other countries they do just this. Furniture is sparse at best and they typically sit on the floor, play on the floor and generally live their lives on the floor. I recently had a student tell me they saw pictures of people squatting while waiting on line in India! I'm willing to bet you'd get some funny looks if you did that in the U.S.A. ;-)

But here's what you can do. Any chance you get, live on the floor. Sit on the floor to watch TV or read a book. Or try this pose:

sphinx1

This is Sphinx pose, a posture that we use a lot in our Yin Yoga classes at Forever Yoga. This is a great way to read a book or watch TV and do some yoga while you're at it! To get there, simply lay on your belly and then walk your elbows back toward your hips lifting your head and upper torso. Pay attention to wherever you feel sensations rise in your body. For most people you might notice this in your low back but it may be somewhere else. Wherever the sensation is most present, make sure that you keep it a mild to moderate sensation. If it's too much, walk your elbows farther forward. You can stay here for 3-5 minutes or more as long as you don't feel any sensations of pain.

This pose can help reset the curvature of the low back spine counteracting all that chair sitting we tend to do. For more information about this posture and it's contraindications (such as pregnancy), check out YinYoga.com's description of Sphinx pose.

sphinx2

And if you're in the Southern NH area and are curious about what Yin Yoga has to offer, check our Schedule Page. We offer 3 Yin Yoga classes throughout the week and would love to have you join us!

Celebrate what you *can* do!

I’ve been sharing this quote I found on a friend’s Facebook page with my students this week:

Not everyone is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. -Albert Einstein

Now if there’s a guy that knows about geniuses, Einstein is probably it! I was really struck by this quote because how many times in our daily lives do we compare ourselves to someone or something else and put ourselves down because we don’t measure up? How many times have you looked outside and passed judgement on yourself because you thought, in comparison to Person X you …

aren’t as good a Mother? aren’t as good a Father? aren’t as good a Husband? aren’t as good a Wife? aren’t as good a Parent? aren’t as good a Cook? aren’t thin enough? aren’t tall enough? aren’t creative enough? or even…

aren’t as good a Yogi (cause obviously I’m not as good a yogi as Person X because they can stand on their head for hours without even trying and I can’t!)?

But the real question is,

Why?

Why pass these judgements on ourselves? How does that serve us? Certainly we want to find ourselves challenged in this life. We don’t grow or move forward without challenge. But why is it necessary to judge? Why can we find the celebration in what is for ourselves? Why not honor our own unique path and find celebration in our own journey?

Yoga teaches us that we are all born from perfection. We simply strive to be even more perfect in this life. What better opportunity to celebrate our perfection than on the mat/chair?! We can use our practice to turn compassion towards ourselves and celebrate the things we *can* do while knowing that maybe that headstand will be easier tomorrow if we continue to practice. We can find an opportunity to celebrate what is, rather than lament what might be. And if we practice it on the mat/chair, we’ll be more able to find that compassion for ourselves the next time we’re out in the world and find ourselves in a situation that challenges our self image.

You have been given the great gift of a body to serve you as you move through this life. Yes, it may challenge you now and then, but where would you be without it?? If you can breathe, you’re already ahead of the game.  Honor and celebrate what you are, because not everyone can climb a tree, but some of us can swim like a fish!